OK, I am not losing my mind per se, but I am losing my psych.
I re-started running two months ago after a several decade break. It isn’t like I stopped moving in those years, I started rock climbing and spent a very happy 15 years doing that, but having moved to the flatlands, so that is not much of an option.
So, I started running again. To keep my interest up, I signed up for the short half of a 6 day trail run. I am only doing three of the days – kind of taking it easy as it were.
But now I find myself making excuses, hearing my mind telling me to slow down, or take a short cut. I am fighting my own head to keep moving.
Deep inside, I know this phase – initial hurdle over, but the next one is bigger and scarier and it would be easier to just stop. I have been here before many times. Somehow, that is not making this part easier.
So for now, I thumb through the music to find something to shift the negative litany of my thoughts, to force myself out and about setting about proving once again to myself I am strong enough to keep trying.